Chak Diya India - The Fun Begins..

Having decided that we'd spend the better part of the day watching Chak De India, we quickly started to plan the details. 

The local newspaper provided us the theatre options and show timings - eventually, proximity to the guest house made us choose one of the two (yeah, that wasn't much of a decision !). 

The show was supposed to start at 5 pm. But we were free after 12. Having this much buffer time on our hands was also a new feeling. So we decided to recce the location, and thought, (basis our prior experience at Lucknow) that we'll buy tickets now, have lunch and come back for the movie. 

Aha, little did we realise that Destiny was in a jovial mood that day, with much of her mirth to be at our expense ! 

Having landed at the "theatre" - I forget the name now- we saw a closed ticket counter!

This was a first ever experience, as movie halls keep vending tickets for the day's show through the day itself. 

On inquiring, we were told to come back at 4 pm - one hour before the show started ! This was even stranger ! What if we didn't get the ticket ? The most anticipated plan for the day would be dashed ! But apparently, our source of information, who had a Zen like air of calm around him, was far removed from such worldly concerns. He reiterated that we'd have to come back at 4. 

By now, hunger had started to ring the lunch bell. We evaluated a nearby "hotel", had tea and french fries and some other junk, and tried our best to kill time. 

Finally, after a lot of fidgeting, the watch showed that it was time. 

I eagerly raced down to the ticket window, and was relieved to see only 2 persons ahead of me. I thanked god and hoped that I would get the prized "balcony" seat today! 

I poked my hand through the counter and confidently asked him for "3 tickets, balcony". 

I was more than taken aback at his reply, which went - "Kahan se aaye ho ?" (Where have you come here from ?).

And the following sequence ensued : 

Me : "What do you mean ?"

Ticket Window : "Arrey we don't have any balcony "

Me : "Then what do you have ?"

TW : "Rs 15, 25 and 35 tickets"

Me : thinking : Looks like we'll have to manage with 35/-. Let's buy it what the heck !

Me : " Give me 3"

TW : Hands over 3 tickets. 

I examined the tickets closely (city slicker habits die hard, you see) , and saw that they did not have any seat numbers on them.

Me: "Arrey what kind of tickets are these ? They don't have any seat numbers !!!" 

TW : "Arrey kahan se aaye ho ?? " 

Me : (Zapped ) - WTF !!! 

Me : "How am I supposed to find out where to sit ?? What do you mean kahan se aaye ho ?"

TW : "Go inside, you'll be told "

This was clearly not going too well, as far as I could make out...tickets sold one hour before the show, no seat numbers...the signs were ominous..but I had committed myself and two others, so there was no going back now.

In we marched, and thankfully, saw a familiar sight. A dude with a torch, telling people where to go..seemed like things would be okay after all..

Me - to usher - : "Where are these seats ?"

Usher - points to the last block of rows : "There"

Me : "Which ones to take ?"

Usher : "Sit anywhere you feel like" 

Me : !!! 

That sinking feeling returned...

Thankfully, since the Rs 35 tickets were the most expensive, the seats were not occupied.

We plonked ourselves on what seemed to give us the best view of the screen..and waited for the action to start..

Meanwhile, the hall was slowly heating up. The ventilation was provided by state of the art ceiling fans and large cooler type fans, blowing inwards. 

Clearly, we had an experience of our lives at hand....

Chak Diya India - More Adventures @ Rudrapur

5 years and much more experience later, I pick up the anecdotes from where I last left them..Rudrapur--

Rudrapur's claims to fame won't be a very long list - For many years, it was an agricultural trading centre -  a big anaaj mandi. Produce from the Terai plains was brought and sold here. It was a small, sleepy town, with a district hospital, and a sizeable Sikh population. The only other fun fact was its proximity to Nainital - the famous tourist destination, and Pantnagar, the University Town. 

Post the creation of the Uttarakhand state, things started to change rapidly there. 

SIDCUL - The State Infrastructure and Industrial Development Corporation of Uttaranchal Ltd, was formed. This entity was tasked with creating a set of industrial parks, to rival the Baddis of Himachal, and generate revenue and jobs for the state. 

The Integrated Industrial Estate of Pantnagar was one of the first projects that went live under this plan, and Sector 9, Plot 14 B - was to be my "office" for 6 weeks.  

How I landed here was also an interesting story - cue to the start of the Factory Stint @ Manesar. 

Having just returned from wilderness, 3 of us were looking forward to spending some time in Gurgaon. 

Our project manager informed us that we'd have a draw of lots to decide the project of choice. 

No - I didn't pull out Rudrapur! I had got a googling project at Manesar, which was a comfortable assignment for all practical purposes. Rudrapur had been allotted to a Delhi based chap, who, quite naturally, was chuffed at being back home and was looking to spend time there. His hopes dashed when he saw the sheet in his hand. And well, I don't know what I was thinking - may be that my parents' were based in Bareilly which was 3 hours away and that I could meet them (idiot that I was, I could have met them from Delhi too !!), and that I really didn't feel challenged by the assignment (dumb ass!), and I felt bad for him - I offered to exchange projects.  If there was a moment when I could be considered for the Nobel Prize of Idiocy, that was it !

So back we went to the manager, and told him that we'd like to exchange projects. And 24 hours later, at 4 a.m, I had disembarked at Rudrapur railway station, and was on the way to the guest house. 

I quickly figured out a routine and started to get up to speed on my assignment - which was to build a spare parts management system. Since the plant was new and there were no vendors around, they had no way to know which part was critical, and how much of it to stock. So it was decided to examine all the lines in detail, classify the components into critical and non - critical and ensure enough stock availability for basis component criticality. 

Shifts were typically 8 hours, and there wasn't much to do after that. The lack of suitable booze options meant that those plans too went onto the back-burner. Evenings were usually spent in front of the TV and on phone calls to friends posted all over the country. 

It was amidst this hum drum, functional - operational scenario that 15th August dawned. 

A day off from work - a change in the daily routine !!  

Thrilled at this prospect, a couple of singletons and I decided to watch the newly released "Chak De India". 

What followed since..is quite a bit of history !

Aisle Bee Back Short Lee

Hmm..I had a good thing going here - so I'd like to believe...

So I will try my hand at it once again...

Let's get this show on the road !

The adventures continue...Rudrapur Ho!

August brought with the impending feeling of Independence, and I was more than happy to return to "civilisation" as I knew it.Little did I know that my joy and relief would be short lived, as I was bunged off to Rudrapur, to work on a technical assignment at the factory.


Rudrapur is a small township, in the rather verbosely named district of Udham Singh Nagar.It is 75 odd km from the hill station of Nainital. The standard joke in these parts is that this is the
only part of the world to have US and UK in the same place - US Nagar in the state of Uttarakhand (UK)!


That this town is still trying to come to terms with its newly found status as a Special Export Zone with many manufacturing facilities is evident from the slew of newly opened shopping complex buildings,increased rents and brand new hotels,striving to offer the best of hospitality.

Of course, some gaps do remain, like the availability of lesser known beer brands instead of the usual Kingfishers and Fosters.I discovered this to a state of great amusement and despair,
one night at the local wine shop.

"Bhai beer hai?"
" Haanji...Bullet, RDX aur The Fire"
"Bhai .."Beer" chahiye..goli barood nahi..."
"Sahab yahan to yehi milega.."
and then it dawned on me that he was talking about the beer!!..

Scenes from the DSE Stint - continued

The daily schedule during this one month of the "guided" SO stint was along these lines -
0930 - Reach the stock point.
1000 - Still at stock point - asking random questions about sales for the previous day, problems with slow moving brands et cetera..(trying to sound wise!)
1030 - Finally leave the stock point..
1100 - Start covering the market - and there's not too much time to do this, since this being Bengal, things would start to close by 1300 and remain that way till 1700-1800.

Encounter some old and new problems everyday, and learn to come up with creative excuses for the same -

1. Why is this product not being given to us ? Because there's so much demand that the machines have broken down trying to meet it...and the new machines will come in 6 months, by sea.....

2. This product doesn't sell at my shop ? (in a surprised tone) "Ki bolchchi Dada ?" Aapke counter par to mitti bhi package ho kar bik jayegi , phir yeh toffee kya cheez hai ?? !

3. There's huge amount of shortage in the jars ? Yes, you are right, it does happen sometime, but there are times when the jar has excess toffees too...and if this one doesn't work, see if the bugger wants to count them...and pray hard that there's no shortage !

4. Your people don't give me credit ! (this from a bugger who has not paid one bill since the past six months !!) ? "Kya dada, saara credit to aapko hi de diya..baaki market to hamein maarne aa raha hai ! "

The one fundamental realisation that became the key to success in many arguments in the future was that there is no one view of a situation that you can label to be the truth, and successfully finding a different / alternate view and convincing the other person to see things from that angle is the real talent that is perhaps the hallmark of a great salesman.

Another important discovery was that at the end of the day, sales (and everything else) boils down to PR. Nothing is as important in this or any business as PR, and smartly leveraging it ensures that things get done with minimum fuss and maximum efficiency.

And now a funny story to end the gyan...

One fine day, almost two months into my SO stint, when I am in a town called Kathua, population barely 50-60000, I call the office, to remind the HR manager to please ensure that my salary is deposited in my personal account (since my salary account was not operational due to some technicalities- like the form not being collected from the office !) when I was told to be ready for the presentation ! The dialogue follows-

Me: "Hello..Ma'am this is Janus, I'm the MT in South Bengal...could you please ensure that my salary and expenses for the month are credit to my personal account ?"
HRM: " Yea, ok...are you ready for the presentation that you have to give to the Big Boss ? "
Me:" (stunned silence) !!!!! Presentation ? !! (in a choking voice ) Ma'am I was not given any prior information about a presentation..I am only doing my SO stint"
HRM:" But all summer trainees have to give their presentations to the Big Boss"
Me:" (Aaaaaaaaaarrrggggggghhhhhhhh !!!!!) Ma'am, I'm NOT a SUMMER trainee...I'm a MANAGEMENT trainee...a company employee...that is why I was asking you for my salary !! "
( this was even funnier since all the summer trainees had finished with their presentations on the day we had reported to the branch, which was almost two months ago !!"
HRM:"Oh ok...it's all right..."
Me: " So Ma'am could you please facilitate that transfer ? I would be really greatful.."
HRM:" Yea yea..ok ..bbye"
Me: !!!???!!!

Meerut round up ...

1. Mere Paas Aao..aur Apna Mood Banao
2. Main hoon Mallika
3. Saniyaa
4. Ek Chakke aur (god knows what) ka badla


some of the many "mature" entertainment options available in Meerut city....enjoy at your own risk!!

Scenes from the DSE Stint - continued

One of the amazing aspects of travelling is the development of appreciation for the subtler nuances of culture, and given the size and diversity of our nation, there are many lessons to be learned in this fine art.

A chronic problem faced by me during the stint in the East was related to the concept of time. Even Einstein would have found it hard to explain time "dilation" in the manner that it takes place there.

Scene 04 - Durgapur- In front of the Communist Party office - Jalkhabar Gali
0900 hours (the time previously agreed to for meeting with SO)
Your's truly dressed to the nines in Louis P, leather shoes and what not.

After a half hour wait - SO turns up, and quite obviously recognises me (since I am the only overdressed guy around) and says- "Oh you are from Delhi - This is Bengal - Delhi time does not work here ! "

Quite an introduction, if I may say so !

Then is the time for my favourite game of 277563 questions -

"Where have you done MBA from? What do your parents do? Why FMCG ? Why not IT ? Everybody goes to IT...you are strange, coming to this line..."

...this when they don't know that I am a trained (or so I would like to think so) engineer !

Once I break that news, it becomes worse ! "Engineer ! Then MBA ? Now doing sales ?? From UP ? In Bengal ? Omygawd !!!"

And then we get on with the "training" viz "walking a mile in the other guy's shoes" by accompanying him to a market located at some distance from the city and doing the "mandatory" 60 calls.

Sandwhiched between a stack of cartons and the salesman cum driver(see the photo in the previous post), this was the world of FMCG saying "Hello" to this freshly minted Marketing Major MBA !