Scenes from the DSE Stint - continued

The daily schedule during this one month of the "guided" SO stint was along these lines -
0930 - Reach the stock point.
1000 - Still at stock point - asking random questions about sales for the previous day, problems with slow moving brands et cetera..(trying to sound wise!)
1030 - Finally leave the stock point..
1100 - Start covering the market - and there's not too much time to do this, since this being Bengal, things would start to close by 1300 and remain that way till 1700-1800.

Encounter some old and new problems everyday, and learn to come up with creative excuses for the same -

1. Why is this product not being given to us ? Because there's so much demand that the machines have broken down trying to meet it...and the new machines will come in 6 months, by sea.....

2. This product doesn't sell at my shop ? (in a surprised tone) "Ki bolchchi Dada ?" Aapke counter par to mitti bhi package ho kar bik jayegi , phir yeh toffee kya cheez hai ?? !

3. There's huge amount of shortage in the jars ? Yes, you are right, it does happen sometime, but there are times when the jar has excess toffees too...and if this one doesn't work, see if the bugger wants to count them...and pray hard that there's no shortage !

4. Your people don't give me credit ! (this from a bugger who has not paid one bill since the past six months !!) ? "Kya dada, saara credit to aapko hi de diya..baaki market to hamein maarne aa raha hai ! "

The one fundamental realisation that became the key to success in many arguments in the future was that there is no one view of a situation that you can label to be the truth, and successfully finding a different / alternate view and convincing the other person to see things from that angle is the real talent that is perhaps the hallmark of a great salesman.

Another important discovery was that at the end of the day, sales (and everything else) boils down to PR. Nothing is as important in this or any business as PR, and smartly leveraging it ensures that things get done with minimum fuss and maximum efficiency.

And now a funny story to end the gyan...

One fine day, almost two months into my SO stint, when I am in a town called Kathua, population barely 50-60000, I call the office, to remind the HR manager to please ensure that my salary is deposited in my personal account (since my salary account was not operational due to some technicalities- like the form not being collected from the office !) when I was told to be ready for the presentation ! The dialogue follows-

Me: "Hello..Ma'am this is Janus, I'm the MT in South Bengal...could you please ensure that my salary and expenses for the month are credit to my personal account ?"
HRM: " Yea, ok...are you ready for the presentation that you have to give to the Big Boss ? "
Me:" (stunned silence) !!!!! Presentation ? !! (in a choking voice ) Ma'am I was not given any prior information about a presentation..I am only doing my SO stint"
HRM:" But all summer trainees have to give their presentations to the Big Boss"
Me:" (Aaaaaaaaaarrrggggggghhhhhhhh !!!!!) Ma'am, I'm NOT a SUMMER trainee...I'm a MANAGEMENT trainee...a company employee...that is why I was asking you for my salary !! "
( this was even funnier since all the summer trainees had finished with their presentations on the day we had reported to the branch, which was almost two months ago !!"
HRM:"Oh ok...it's all right..."
Me: " So Ma'am could you please facilitate that transfer ? I would be really greatful.."
HRM:" Yea yea..ok ..bbye"
Me: !!!???!!!

Meerut round up ...

1. Mere Paas Aao..aur Apna Mood Banao
2. Main hoon Mallika
3. Saniyaa
4. Ek Chakke aur (god knows what) ka badla


some of the many "mature" entertainment options available in Meerut city....enjoy at your own risk!!

Scenes from the DSE Stint - continued

One of the amazing aspects of travelling is the development of appreciation for the subtler nuances of culture, and given the size and diversity of our nation, there are many lessons to be learned in this fine art.

A chronic problem faced by me during the stint in the East was related to the concept of time. Even Einstein would have found it hard to explain time "dilation" in the manner that it takes place there.

Scene 04 - Durgapur- In front of the Communist Party office - Jalkhabar Gali
0900 hours (the time previously agreed to for meeting with SO)
Your's truly dressed to the nines in Louis P, leather shoes and what not.

After a half hour wait - SO turns up, and quite obviously recognises me (since I am the only overdressed guy around) and says- "Oh you are from Delhi - This is Bengal - Delhi time does not work here ! "

Quite an introduction, if I may say so !

Then is the time for my favourite game of 277563 questions -

"Where have you done MBA from? What do your parents do? Why FMCG ? Why not IT ? Everybody goes to IT...you are strange, coming to this line..."

...this when they don't know that I am a trained (or so I would like to think so) engineer !

Once I break that news, it becomes worse ! "Engineer ! Then MBA ? Now doing sales ?? From UP ? In Bengal ? Omygawd !!!"

And then we get on with the "training" viz "walking a mile in the other guy's shoes" by accompanying him to a market located at some distance from the city and doing the "mandatory" 60 calls.

Sandwhiched between a stack of cartons and the salesman cum driver(see the photo in the previous post), this was the world of FMCG saying "Hello" to this freshly minted Marketing Major MBA !

Images from the DSE stint...

Jaandar sawari...Shandaar sawari...my "ride" during the DSE stint...and I used to sit between the boxes and the seat..yes, you can say "ouch" again !

Raju..looking here like "Jadu"...a "cat" DB salesman !

To kill time, just shoot it....experiments with light after returning from work...

A view of the countryside...Bengal in the Monsoon truly becomes "Shonar", albeit the
gold is of the green kind !

Introducing - FMCG Adventures !

Post a highly idyllic and relaxed lifestyle at B-school, I was brought back to reality when I began my Management Trainee stint with a reputed FMCG company. Lots of incidents happened, most of which seem to be funny now, but were often the cause of a lot of irritation and vexation, and I decided that I would share them with the world in some way or the other.

What follows are brief snippets from my journey so far. I hope to be regular in posting, as I now have my laptop back [:)] and have procured a data card too !

Here goes then...

Scene 01-
0430 hours - Heritage City, Gurgaon - waiting for the taxi to drop us off to the airport, where I have to board the 6:00 am flight to Calcutta -

I am off to face two months of DSE training- the DSE being the "foot soldier" of the company (who sometimes likes to shoot it there too)- so all company "officers" have to walk in his shoes for two months, in order to obtain a grass-roots level understanding of how the business is actually done, and not the way it is taught. But all that comes later...right now, an elderly gentleman comes up to your's truly and says " Are you a pilot ?" ...........

Before I can even comprehend the whys and wherefores of this question, and try to say something that makes sense, he launches into a monologue that tells me of his connections to several known business houses...et cetera et cetera .....and makes me think of that night (www.janusspeak.blogspot.com) on the beach....so I just keep nodding my head to give him the impression of listening, until it is mercifully time to leave !

What a way to start the day ! Whatever happens now will be much better ( or so I hope)


Scene 02-
Calcutta - Same day
10:30 am

Is Mr X in ?
no
Mr.Y?
no
Ms. Z?
no...and oh yea..today is half day - office closes at 2:00pm

Brilliant ! East is East ! Having taken all the trouble to get up at 3:00 am, shave, shower, change into formals et cetera, we find out after reaching the office that we have more than two hours to do precisely that ! The consultant's luck has taken its toll...it is going to be one of those days !


Scene 03 - at some shady bar in Park Street

Q: Do you serve Haywards / Kingfisher ?
A : Only after 8:30 pm sir !

Q: ???!!!!WTF ?? !!!!!
A: yes sir !

Q: Great ! what else do you have ?
A: Dansberg !
(Dutch beer - made in Sikkim, the label tells us !)

Well...bring it on guys...and let the "Dutch" times roll !

So ended the first memorable day of the DSE stint....

More "adventure" adventures to follow shortly !

Until then,
Adios.
- J